Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost
Friday, October 23, 2009
Fire and Ice
Friday, October 2, 2009
Choose Your Words Wisely
Hey there...
So I picked the title "Choose Your Words Wisely" because more often than not, we don't. As a whole, we are a society of beans-spillers. We are the people who constantly have a foot in the mouth, always have to apologize, or always act like we are apologetic but really, we are not. More often than not, we are the latter. I know more than my fair share of people who apologize for shit that they don't want to apologize for. I say, then why do it? There are billions of people in this world. If the person you just "accidentally" insulted no longer wants to be friends with you because they cannot take the naked ugly truth, then I am sure there are 5 more people who will.
I am not one of those people. I apologize. I usually don't right away. I sit and ponder the possibilities of what the other person must be thinking first. Is that really what I said? Or the Holy shit, maybe Jill is right! I guess I am an optimist when it comes to that. I always think that I "got them where it hurts," even if it wasn't my intention. Usually though, it's WTF is her problem? and then we end up apologizing to each other and what's done is done. But when is enough, enough?
A few years ago, I moved back to NJ after being in CT for a few years. While I loved New England and most of the people there, I needed to come back. I needed a change. And I needed my family. One of the many things I promised to myself is that I wouldn't take any more bullshit from people who weren't really worth my time. I've pretty much held to that. Now when I argue with people, it's because I think they are worth arguing with because they are worth making up with as well. If I didn't want to argue, I would do like I did when I left Chris in CT and just said "I'm done, I'll be gone in 2 weeks" and really just leave it at that. It's so liberating to realize that you won't be anyone's doormat any more and the more you do it, the easier it gets. But with that, comes the problem with choosing your words wisely.
In the last few years, I have probably gotten a bit too liberal in my voiced opinions. While sometimes, I truly do not care, other times, I should and I don't, and I probably should at least pretend to. You do that when you are an adult. You pretend to like things to please the people you care about. It doesn't always work but you should really try. But what happens if it's one sided? It can't always be that one sided shit because that will just end in fire. If people always chose their words wisely and thought before they spoke, we could all get our points across, no? Some people should not speak at all, that's for sure. Some need not utter a single word. Others though, have these graceful ways of spilling the beans. We don't care because we are just in awe of how they said it that what they said just doesn't matter.
My advice in my rambling, incoherent meandering, is to choose your words wisely. That way, if someone has a problem with what you say, but you have taken the time to think about it and have chosen the words before saying them, you can just tell them to f*ck off.
So I picked the title "Choose Your Words Wisely" because more often than not, we don't. As a whole, we are a society of beans-spillers. We are the people who constantly have a foot in the mouth, always have to apologize, or always act like we are apologetic but really, we are not. More often than not, we are the latter. I know more than my fair share of people who apologize for shit that they don't want to apologize for. I say, then why do it? There are billions of people in this world. If the person you just "accidentally" insulted no longer wants to be friends with you because they cannot take the naked ugly truth, then I am sure there are 5 more people who will.
I am not one of those people. I apologize. I usually don't right away. I sit and ponder the possibilities of what the other person must be thinking first. Is that really what I said? Or the Holy shit, maybe Jill is right! I guess I am an optimist when it comes to that. I always think that I "got them where it hurts," even if it wasn't my intention. Usually though, it's WTF is her problem? and then we end up apologizing to each other and what's done is done. But when is enough, enough?
A few years ago, I moved back to NJ after being in CT for a few years. While I loved New England and most of the people there, I needed to come back. I needed a change. And I needed my family. One of the many things I promised to myself is that I wouldn't take any more bullshit from people who weren't really worth my time. I've pretty much held to that. Now when I argue with people, it's because I think they are worth arguing with because they are worth making up with as well. If I didn't want to argue, I would do like I did when I left Chris in CT and just said "I'm done, I'll be gone in 2 weeks" and really just leave it at that. It's so liberating to realize that you won't be anyone's doormat any more and the more you do it, the easier it gets. But with that, comes the problem with choosing your words wisely.
In the last few years, I have probably gotten a bit too liberal in my voiced opinions. While sometimes, I truly do not care, other times, I should and I don't, and I probably should at least pretend to. You do that when you are an adult. You pretend to like things to please the people you care about. It doesn't always work but you should really try. But what happens if it's one sided? It can't always be that one sided shit because that will just end in fire. If people always chose their words wisely and thought before they spoke, we could all get our points across, no? Some people should not speak at all, that's for sure. Some need not utter a single word. Others though, have these graceful ways of spilling the beans. We don't care because we are just in awe of how they said it that what they said just doesn't matter.
My advice in my rambling, incoherent meandering, is to choose your words wisely. That way, if someone has a problem with what you say, but you have taken the time to think about it and have chosen the words before saying them, you can just tell them to f*ck off.
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