I'm updating already! I know. As I type this, it's been about three minutes since I last posted. I guess I figured out what to talk about.
In terms of "choosing your words wisely," I'd like to talk about the fact that this whole minding what you say should be a skill taught by parents. I know. I'm not a parent, so who am I to give advice? No, I'm not a parent. But I am a person! I am also a teacher, so I am with your kids more each day (Monday through Friday) than you are, so na-na-na-na-na.
One student, a few weeks ago, was giving me a lot of grief. I recently started at a new school, in a new district. I guess that is news to you too, since the last time I updated prior to today, I hadn't even graduated yet. Anyway, so a few students had been having a hard time with the changes. I started mid-year as a Special Education Teacher and the co-teacher I was with up and quit "effective immediately" in what seemed like minutes after I began. Apparently, she had been really unhappy as a teacher, but what kind of person just leaves students high and dry mid-year? You can't wait until June? Asshole.
Okay, moving on.
A few kids were not warming up to me but then when she left, it got so much worse. There was a teacher coming back, so they brought her in with me. Immediately, I was relieved, and this teacher was awesome! So I thought "this is going to be great!" Nope. These few kids were just rude. We spoke to their parents and were told basically "you are singling out my kid" or "no way they did that." No, we are totally making it up. How and why would that make sense? What would we get out of lying? These kids learn this kind of behavior and believe they can get away with it because their parents couldn't care less about parenting. News flash: If you are too busy to parent, you are too busy to BE a parent. There is adoption. You might have a sister or cousin who is longing to be a mommy or a daddy. Sign over your parental rights, because you are not doing it right. Now, I'm not saying all teachers are perfect. However, this cannot be the first time you have heard of this kind of behavior by your kid. So what are the odds that all of those teachers or coaches or babysitters were ALL wrong? Stop making excuses. Stop treating people like they don't matter.
Learn how to act. It literally takes a village to raise a child. Don't alienate those who are there to help. Now, we don't try to teach these kids manners or explain right and wrong to them because we are in fear of getting in trouble for doing our fucking jobs. How awesome is that? Ugh..
Friday, April 14, 2017
It's been six years...
It has been six years since my last post. Crazy.
There is so much to talk about. Where do I start? Millennials? Rude cashiers? Um, Donald Trump is the f*cking President of the U.S. Good lord. I don't even know.
Maybe next time. For right now, I have to wrap my mind around where to start. Be back soon.
Not that anyone reads this.
There is so much to talk about. Where do I start? Millennials? Rude cashiers? Um, Donald Trump is the f*cking President of the U.S. Good lord. I don't even know.
Maybe next time. For right now, I have to wrap my mind around where to start. Be back soon.
Not that anyone reads this.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
What I've learned in 2011
So it's been over a year since I updated this, and probably for good reason. I was starting to feel like the more I updated, the more likely I was to post what I had on FB or something else that would allow the awful people I don't want to involve with this, to see it. Not my husband or friends. But let's just leave the clues to those two, shall we?
So this last year I have learned a lot about myself. I've lost a lot too. That includes last year too I guess, because this is all continuing from last year. I've lost friends, trust, uh... trust. That's such a huge one.
But we are not here for that. We are here to learn what to say and what not to say. Well, I learned this year that no matter how many of those silly little smiley faces you put, or LOL's you write, people will make of what you type however they want to take it, or however fits their mood. For example, I put something on a friends page that I thought was pretty straightforward. I was confused about something so I let it all out. I was in no way mad or upset or looking to cause an issue. But that escalated everything. In fact, not only did she get defensive, but a few of my "ex" friends chimed in to something that was not their place and created more drama, blaming it all on me. So, I've learned a lesson in that and I hope you do too. DO NOT write to someone on facebook about anything but silly conversation.
Lesson learned.
So this last year I have learned a lot about myself. I've lost a lot too. That includes last year too I guess, because this is all continuing from last year. I've lost friends, trust, uh... trust. That's such a huge one.
But we are not here for that. We are here to learn what to say and what not to say. Well, I learned this year that no matter how many of those silly little smiley faces you put, or LOL's you write, people will make of what you type however they want to take it, or however fits their mood. For example, I put something on a friends page that I thought was pretty straightforward. I was confused about something so I let it all out. I was in no way mad or upset or looking to cause an issue. But that escalated everything. In fact, not only did she get defensive, but a few of my "ex" friends chimed in to something that was not their place and created more drama, blaming it all on me. So, I've learned a lesson in that and I hope you do too. DO NOT write to someone on facebook about anything but silly conversation.
Lesson learned.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Feels Like An Eternity
Almost three months have gone by and not much has changed, aside from the fact that I am now a married woman! Woo hoo! I am married to my best friend so that's pretty much the coolest feeling in the world. Every day, no matter how shitty it is, it still is not as bad as respectively the same day, last year. We are husband and wife and that's just really awesome.
On a side note, it seems as though no one has grown up or listened to anything he and I have said. Of course this pertains to the individuals I have written about previously, namely back in August. See, he and I thought that we would say our piece and people would realize that they were acting like raging lunatics. Funny how assuming still makes an ass out of "u" and "me", right honey? Well, ha-frickin-ha to us!
It seems also as though no one gives a shit what he (my husband) and I feel. Getting married was just an excuse to try and play the "1up" card and show others what you can get away with without actually giving much effort. Well bravo for a job well done. While I was super excited on my wedding day to marry my best friend and have my closest family and friends around me, there were so many ridiculous things that should not have happened that day, that I will never forgive as long as I live.
Frankly, I do not care who tells me to "let it go" or "it's not the end of the world." Obviously it is not the end of the world that my mother and I went out of our way to make someone feel special because their SON wanted them included in certain things, photos, wedding set-up, blah blah blah, and they basically gave us a giant middle finger. Obviously that's not the actual END OF THE WORLD. It's also not the end of the world that particular people have gone out of their way to "show their guests that they will be the most beautiful woman at their son's wedding"... please keep in mind that it's the friggin BRIDE and GROOM'S DAY you crazy person!
Again, it's not the end of the world if for this one day, the two individuals (myself and the groom) who are supposed to have called all the shots and have all the attention on them and be able to say and do what they want for just one quick day, have asked that the bridal party, including all attendants, to dress as though they are mirroring the "roaring 20's" era-ish. The bride wore a dress inspired by the 1920's, the groom was stunning in a 3-piece gray tuxedo, groomsmen in matching gray tuxedo's with slick red and black ties, the mother of the bride was wearing a very elegant but certainly not over-the-top ensemble that was mature and fashionable, certainly not anything out of the ordinary for a simple and classic afternoon wedding surrounded by trees and lanterns and pumpkins. Nevermind all that... you know what would really NOT be the end of the world? (Please note sarcastic tone) If the mother of the groom wore a fucking Cinderella gown, much more fancy that the damn wedding gown, with Gotti sequence up and down the very revealing opening for her breasts, all the while, her prom-date inspired husband got to wear the damn blue friggin vest and tie to match Cinderella! Hoorah for them! They got what they wanted no matter what their SON asked them to do. That's just it. They did it to spite ME but it was not ME who asked them. It was YOUR SON. We agreed that wanted the fathers to wear black tuxedo's. Next in line and first choice of color is the mother of the bride, THEN the mother of the groom. Nowhere in the "guides for brides" does it say "it's not right to allow the mother of the bride to wear black and silver if the mother of the groom cannot match their husband/date". Who gives a shit? It is never about you, loony-toon. It is always about the couple. They are getting married, despite your need for attention at every god-damn corner.
BTW - Just for the record, I absolutely LOVE the fact that you look like a giant moron. It ALMOST makes up for the fact that you've treated me like shit behind AND in front of your sons back for the last 2 years. I wish one day he would come to see all of the things you have said to me but I will spare him all of those details because you are his mother and he deserves better than that. It gives me great satisfaction knowing that one day, your true "face" will be seen by him, make-up and all.
On a side note, it seems as though no one has grown up or listened to anything he and I have said. Of course this pertains to the individuals I have written about previously, namely back in August. See, he and I thought that we would say our piece and people would realize that they were acting like raging lunatics. Funny how assuming still makes an ass out of "u" and "me", right honey? Well, ha-frickin-ha to us!
It seems also as though no one gives a shit what he (my husband) and I feel. Getting married was just an excuse to try and play the "1up" card and show others what you can get away with without actually giving much effort. Well bravo for a job well done. While I was super excited on my wedding day to marry my best friend and have my closest family and friends around me, there were so many ridiculous things that should not have happened that day, that I will never forgive as long as I live.
Frankly, I do not care who tells me to "let it go" or "it's not the end of the world." Obviously it is not the end of the world that my mother and I went out of our way to make someone feel special because their SON wanted them included in certain things, photos, wedding set-up, blah blah blah, and they basically gave us a giant middle finger. Obviously that's not the actual END OF THE WORLD. It's also not the end of the world that particular people have gone out of their way to "show their guests that they will be the most beautiful woman at their son's wedding"... please keep in mind that it's the friggin BRIDE and GROOM'S DAY you crazy person!
Again, it's not the end of the world if for this one day, the two individuals (myself and the groom) who are supposed to have called all the shots and have all the attention on them and be able to say and do what they want for just one quick day, have asked that the bridal party, including all attendants, to dress as though they are mirroring the "roaring 20's" era-ish. The bride wore a dress inspired by the 1920's, the groom was stunning in a 3-piece gray tuxedo, groomsmen in matching gray tuxedo's with slick red and black ties, the mother of the bride was wearing a very elegant but certainly not over-the-top ensemble that was mature and fashionable, certainly not anything out of the ordinary for a simple and classic afternoon wedding surrounded by trees and lanterns and pumpkins. Nevermind all that... you know what would really NOT be the end of the world? (Please note sarcastic tone) If the mother of the groom wore a fucking Cinderella gown, much more fancy that the damn wedding gown, with Gotti sequence up and down the very revealing opening for her breasts, all the while, her prom-date inspired husband got to wear the damn blue friggin vest and tie to match Cinderella! Hoorah for them! They got what they wanted no matter what their SON asked them to do. That's just it. They did it to spite ME but it was not ME who asked them. It was YOUR SON. We agreed that wanted the fathers to wear black tuxedo's. Next in line and first choice of color is the mother of the bride, THEN the mother of the groom. Nowhere in the "guides for brides" does it say "it's not right to allow the mother of the bride to wear black and silver if the mother of the groom cannot match their husband/date". Who gives a shit? It is never about you, loony-toon. It is always about the couple. They are getting married, despite your need for attention at every god-damn corner.
BTW - Just for the record, I absolutely LOVE the fact that you look like a giant moron. It ALMOST makes up for the fact that you've treated me like shit behind AND in front of your sons back for the last 2 years. I wish one day he would come to see all of the things you have said to me but I will spare him all of those details because you are his mother and he deserves better than that. It gives me great satisfaction knowing that one day, your true "face" will be seen by him, make-up and all.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever
Very true; very true indeed.
I say that most people overreact. I do it almost every day. It's like something very small that happens immediately feels like it's the end of the world. You forget to brush your teeth - - you feel strange all day. You are 5 minutes late to work - - you feel like your whole day is ruined. The more that happens though, the harder it is for you to realize what problems are honestly huge, and which ones can be remedied in 5 minutes.
A few months ago, I had this big ordeal with someone in my family. I took a few moments and relaxed before going to war. Normally, I would have just fired back without question, not even thinking of the possible repercussions. This time though, I acted accordingly. It got me nowhere and I'll tell you why. It is because the person on the opposite end of the field, never thinks before they act. Everything to them is the worst thing possible. Everyone and everything is always out to get them. Nothing is ever good enough and when things do start to go their way, they do something to f it all up. Why you may ask? Well i'm asking too. I have no damn clue why. I did however look like the bigger person to most people that matter to me, just not to them... or their "side". I know that I was right in the way I handled myself and that is all that matters. I acted the way I did because I did not want to make matters worse or hurt someone I care about. I couldn't do anything about the former because of the way they reacted. But the latter was perfectly fine.
This is a person who can have it all... the great family, the fun life, the means to do everything they want. They choose to dwell on the awful, and always make it worse, regardless of what it is or the circumstances.
Lately, my fiance and I have been trying to de-stress ourselves. We've been trying to speak our minds lately to other people but ourselves. For example, if our moms or friends piss us off, we tell them now instead of trying to just let it go for the sake of letting it go. We decided on this because we kept letting everything go and it would always just get worse. People would start to walk all over us, people would abuse our friendships or relationships or take one of us for granted, or our favorite - - put us in the middle. Now when I say fiance, I assume you know that we are above the legal age to be married. We are both in our 30's. My mom had an issue with their family, but didn't tell a soul (including me). So she decided to just distance herself a bit. Turned out to be a bit too much because now my fiance's family has nit-picked everything she's done the last few months and has since pinned themselves against my mom, and brought my fiance with them to their corner. Is that fair?
Choose what you say. Think before you speak. It doesn't hurt anyone, including yourself, if you just take a few moments and realize that the shit you do affects everyone around you. If you talk about someone behind their back, it may get back to them. If you think someone is talking about you, don't lash our and act like a child, confront them and say you don't appreciate it. If your parents are pissing you off, don't let it go for months on end because it'll cause you more anguish in the end- tell them what is bothering you.
The moral of these ramblings is this: Once you have the right to vote, you have the responsibility to act like you deserve it. If you have something to say, say it and say it to the people it affects and has to do with. Bitching to inappropriate people does not count. If you have nothing nice to say, do not say it at all, ESPECIALLY if it has a chance to come back to bite you in the ass. Finally, if you are caught doing something you should not have, ie: acting like a child instead of an adult when dealing with family, lying, or perhaps saying something you should not have... own up to it and face the punishment. Everyone knows you are lying, chances are there is some sort of evidence against you, and more than anything else... you look like a giant douchebag. (sorry for the cussing).
I say that most people overreact. I do it almost every day. It's like something very small that happens immediately feels like it's the end of the world. You forget to brush your teeth - - you feel strange all day. You are 5 minutes late to work - - you feel like your whole day is ruined. The more that happens though, the harder it is for you to realize what problems are honestly huge, and which ones can be remedied in 5 minutes.
A few months ago, I had this big ordeal with someone in my family. I took a few moments and relaxed before going to war. Normally, I would have just fired back without question, not even thinking of the possible repercussions. This time though, I acted accordingly. It got me nowhere and I'll tell you why. It is because the person on the opposite end of the field, never thinks before they act. Everything to them is the worst thing possible. Everyone and everything is always out to get them. Nothing is ever good enough and when things do start to go their way, they do something to f it all up. Why you may ask? Well i'm asking too. I have no damn clue why. I did however look like the bigger person to most people that matter to me, just not to them... or their "side". I know that I was right in the way I handled myself and that is all that matters. I acted the way I did because I did not want to make matters worse or hurt someone I care about. I couldn't do anything about the former because of the way they reacted. But the latter was perfectly fine.
This is a person who can have it all... the great family, the fun life, the means to do everything they want. They choose to dwell on the awful, and always make it worse, regardless of what it is or the circumstances.
Lately, my fiance and I have been trying to de-stress ourselves. We've been trying to speak our minds lately to other people but ourselves. For example, if our moms or friends piss us off, we tell them now instead of trying to just let it go for the sake of letting it go. We decided on this because we kept letting everything go and it would always just get worse. People would start to walk all over us, people would abuse our friendships or relationships or take one of us for granted, or our favorite - - put us in the middle. Now when I say fiance, I assume you know that we are above the legal age to be married. We are both in our 30's. My mom had an issue with their family, but didn't tell a soul (including me). So she decided to just distance herself a bit. Turned out to be a bit too much because now my fiance's family has nit-picked everything she's done the last few months and has since pinned themselves against my mom, and brought my fiance with them to their corner. Is that fair?
Choose what you say. Think before you speak. It doesn't hurt anyone, including yourself, if you just take a few moments and realize that the shit you do affects everyone around you. If you talk about someone behind their back, it may get back to them. If you think someone is talking about you, don't lash our and act like a child, confront them and say you don't appreciate it. If your parents are pissing you off, don't let it go for months on end because it'll cause you more anguish in the end- tell them what is bothering you.
The moral of these ramblings is this: Once you have the right to vote, you have the responsibility to act like you deserve it. If you have something to say, say it and say it to the people it affects and has to do with. Bitching to inappropriate people does not count. If you have nothing nice to say, do not say it at all, ESPECIALLY if it has a chance to come back to bite you in the ass. Finally, if you are caught doing something you should not have, ie: acting like a child instead of an adult when dealing with family, lying, or perhaps saying something you should not have... own up to it and face the punishment. Everyone knows you are lying, chances are there is some sort of evidence against you, and more than anything else... you look like a giant douchebag. (sorry for the cussing).
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
And So The Story Goes
It stings when someone you care so much about is no longer in your life. Right? I am not talking about a lover or ex-boyfriend. I'm talking about someone I have known for so many years, sometimes it felt like an eternity.
A once very good friend of mine has left me stranded. I say stranded because people who are stranded on an island are left wondering how in the hell did I get here and how do I get out? That is how I am feeling. You might ask me "Jill, why do you feel so stranded?" Well good question, audience of one. I feel stranded because I have no clue how the fuck I ended up minus one friend. There's no going back. There's no running back the clock or talking it out or even figuring out what went wrong. I literally woke up one day with them by my side (figuratively, not literally) and by the end of lunch, our friendship was over. Strange, right? Maybe this could've happened in 1996 when you lose friends like you change your underwear, but now? I'm almost 30. I do not feel any need to go through bullshit like Oh you hurt my feelings... blah blah blah.
I feel badly; I do. If I hurt anyone in my life I am sorry. I do not do things on purpose or out of spite. I do not treat people badly. I treat them how I want to be treated. If there is one thing I learned in Kindergarten, it was that life-rule. But I do feel bad. I do not wish anyone harm, not even people who are no longer in my life. I do however wish to know one thing. That one thing is, if I have done wrong, why didn't they have any respect for themselves or me or even our years of friendship, to come to me and either call me out on anything they feel I've done, or even perhaps said anything about it at all. I was blindsided by all of this. Why? Because they felt that the last X amount of times we've hung out, they "left feeling shitty." I have to use quotes because that is the reason I got for them no longer wanting to be my friend. They said I am mean and say hurtful things. Now I ask you, if you were friends with someone and I mean really friends with them, would you not tell them when they piss you off? Especially, if they are so upset by it, they are contemplating ending their two-decades-plus friendship?
I thought so.
So now I am left wondering. Wondering if it was me. Wondering if I could have done something. I'm even wondering if it would've changed things if I didn't say those mean things. The catch is though that I get stuck.... because I don't know what I said! I've played the last times we've "hung out" in my head over and over and not once did I ever say anything to them that could even remotely be misconstrued as hurtful or in the very least intentional. I've never doubted that I am sarcastic or even a bitch when needed. And lately, I have been growing a nice pair of balls when people piss me off but I've never been hurtful toward people that have not done anything TO me to deserve that.
The last few days my wondering has faded. I've realized a few things. I've even been told a few things by the many people I have left. They say don't worry and that it's not worth it and they're probably right. How could it be? So now I realize that the time has obviously come for me to say goodbye to this once-dear friend. Although still confused, I understand that people grow. Some people grow older, some people grow wiser, some people grow tired and some people grow up.
Goodbye friend. I hope the time comes when you grow up and join the rest of us.
A once very good friend of mine has left me stranded. I say stranded because people who are stranded on an island are left wondering how in the hell did I get here and how do I get out? That is how I am feeling. You might ask me "Jill, why do you feel so stranded?" Well good question, audience of one. I feel stranded because I have no clue how the fuck I ended up minus one friend. There's no going back. There's no running back the clock or talking it out or even figuring out what went wrong. I literally woke up one day with them by my side (figuratively, not literally) and by the end of lunch, our friendship was over. Strange, right? Maybe this could've happened in 1996 when you lose friends like you change your underwear, but now? I'm almost 30. I do not feel any need to go through bullshit like Oh you hurt my feelings... blah blah blah.
I feel badly; I do. If I hurt anyone in my life I am sorry. I do not do things on purpose or out of spite. I do not treat people badly. I treat them how I want to be treated. If there is one thing I learned in Kindergarten, it was that life-rule. But I do feel bad. I do not wish anyone harm, not even people who are no longer in my life. I do however wish to know one thing. That one thing is, if I have done wrong, why didn't they have any respect for themselves or me or even our years of friendship, to come to me and either call me out on anything they feel I've done, or even perhaps said anything about it at all. I was blindsided by all of this. Why? Because they felt that the last X amount of times we've hung out, they "left feeling shitty." I have to use quotes because that is the reason I got for them no longer wanting to be my friend. They said I am mean and say hurtful things. Now I ask you, if you were friends with someone and I mean really friends with them, would you not tell them when they piss you off? Especially, if they are so upset by it, they are contemplating ending their two-decades-plus friendship?
I thought so.
So now I am left wondering. Wondering if it was me. Wondering if I could have done something. I'm even wondering if it would've changed things if I didn't say those mean things. The catch is though that I get stuck.... because I don't know what I said! I've played the last times we've "hung out" in my head over and over and not once did I ever say anything to them that could even remotely be misconstrued as hurtful or in the very least intentional. I've never doubted that I am sarcastic or even a bitch when needed. And lately, I have been growing a nice pair of balls when people piss me off but I've never been hurtful toward people that have not done anything TO me to deserve that.
The last few days my wondering has faded. I've realized a few things. I've even been told a few things by the many people I have left. They say don't worry and that it's not worth it and they're probably right. How could it be? So now I realize that the time has obviously come for me to say goodbye to this once-dear friend. Although still confused, I understand that people grow. Some people grow older, some people grow wiser, some people grow tired and some people grow up.
Goodbye friend. I hope the time comes when you grow up and join the rest of us.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Fire and Ice
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